Hallowed
by Paper Pearls
Summary: Following the war, Remus has difficulty balancing the importance of the past and the present. Luna sheds light on the problems he faces. One-shot.


**This is my response to **_**delete-the-girl**_**'s "Halloween Challenge" and **_**EveryShiningStar**_**'s "Non-Canon Pairing Challenge". I chose to use my hundredth story to demonstrate my never-ending love of Remus/Luna.**

**OoOoO**

It was a dreadful cliché, he knew – seeking out somewhere haunted on Halloween – but Remus Lupin was not seeking a cheap thrill. In fact, it was his howling and screaming that had caused the Shrieking Shack's reputation to become anything other than average. In it he had lived through some of the best and worst times of his life. He had had friends. He had become a monster. Remus reached out and traced the gouges on the support of the bed, carefully avoiding their splintered edges. It hadn't only been the furniture that he had attacked; on more mornings than he cared to remember, James and Sirius had shrugged off the wounds he – _the wolf_ – had inflicted, given a lopsided grin and made a comment designed to make him laugh and forget it all.

They had been everything to him; James, Sirius and Peter. The bond between them had been strong. They had embraced him for what he was, and their acceptance had convinced Remus that just maybe, as naive an idea as it was, their friendship was unbreakable.

Only, it had broken; shattered into four broken, separate pieces. On this very night, some years ago, Remus had been left stranded in solitude. It was worse than the loneliness of his childhood, because the loneliness had been soaked in guilt and doubt and rage.

Remus was plagued by horrors that far outstripped the phantasms represented by children's costumes and games on Halloween. James, proud and brave, died a victim. Sirius, the most loyal friend he had ever known, had betrayed them all (or so he had thought – Remus still felt guilty for not returning the trust that had been placed in him). And Peter. Shy, anxious Peter had forsaken them all, given up the friendship that had been everything to Remus as though it was nothing. The darker side of human nature chilled Remus. He fought the urge to kick the already battered chest of drawers – he had inflicted enough damage on the room as things stood. Instead, Remus sighed deeply and began to pace, avoiding the spot where Severus Snape had lain dead; he may never have liked Snape, but he did have a respect for him.

Quickly, Remus lost count of the circuits of the room he had completed. The dusty floorboards creaked softly as though welcoming an old friend. In a rather morbid way, Remus found it comforting. The back of his neck prickled, telling Remus that he was being watched. He didn't have to turn to know who it would be.

"Hello, Luna." He stopped, but did not turn around. The idea of Luna being in the Shrieking Shack, the place where he had spent more hours as a monster than a man, was a disquieting one. She had never once judged him for what he was, although he had spent months waiting for a subconscious flicker of contempt. Somewhere along the lines, without Remus having noticed, Luna had convinced him to stop bracing himself – she wasn't going to leave.

With quiet, even footsteps, Luna crossed the room. Remus could feel the intensity of her gaze burning into his back, although she didn't say anything. Her presence never was intrusive – she wasn't going to pester him about what was on his mind like Mrs Weasley, or make roundabout suggestions about the benefits of talking about it like Dumbledore had done, and Remus was grateful. The perverse thing was that, against his better judgement, he felt like confiding in her.

"You don't have to wait for me, you know." There was a forced joviality to his words, and Remus knew that she would notice. Luna always did.

"No, I don't suppose I do." Her hand slipped into his, and Remus felt his resolve weakening. Luna wasn't unchanged by the war – far from it; there was a new gravity to her eyes that hadn't been there before, and a slight frown would crease her brow when her thoughts wandered. However, she had retained the ability to make the most innocent of gestures. They remained in a companionable silence for several seconds.

"I should be used to it by now." Remus gave an apologetic smile, although he couldn't tell whether I or not it was visible in the semi-darkness. He shivered as Luna traced a finger across his lifeline, and for one ludicrous moment he expected her to tell him about his fate.

"I don't think that it's supposed to be that way."

"No?" Remus regretted the scepticism in his tone as soon as he had spoken. It was rare for Luna to mention her mother and so on occasion, to his shame, Remus forgot that her life too had been visited by tragedy when her mother had died. If he hadn't known her so well, it would have been easy to assume that Luna hadn't picked up on it – for she gave no indication that she had – but Remus knew that she was accepting to a fault.

"No. You're right to remember what good friends that they were; Sirius Black, James Potter, and even Peter Pettigrew – you're right to mourn the boy that you used to know, because there must have been so many good things that kept your friendship going." As always, her insight left Remus feeling slightly weak. He mulled over her words. Due to her wisdom, it was easy to forget that she was so young.

"I'm sorry that I left the Halloween feast; I know that you were looking forward to it." Gently, he squeezed her hand and was reassured when Luna returned the soft pressure.

"It doesn't matter – I'm not especially hungry, anyway."

Remus placed a hand on the small of her back and slowly turned her to face him.

"I didn't mean the food. The celebrations looked promising." It was true. The tricks and products demonstrated by Ron and George Weasley had been impressive enough to shine through the fog of melancholia that had surrounded him.

"We can still celebrate, if you'd like. I'll come with you to Godric's Hollow, if you'd like." Moonlight pooled through a crack in the ceiling and caused Luna's pale skin and hair to glow, making Remus imagine – not for the first time – that there was more of dream than reality about her. After all, she had fulfilled dreams that he hadn't been willing to acknowledge possessing. He sighed, raising a hand to caress her hair. It was soft and silken to touch. "Or if you'd rather go by yourself, I'd understand."

"I'm so very lucky to have you."

"Remus-" Before she could continue and reiterate the debates that had peppered the beginning of their relationship, he silenced her with a brief kiss.

"No. There's nothing wrong with appreciating what one has had, or continue to have." He couldn't help but smile as Luna ran her fingertips along his jaw. "Thank you for your offer, but I think that I'd rather stay here."

Luna looked up at him questioningly.

"You're welcome to stay with me, although-"

"I will." Luna stood on her tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss against his cheek. She gasped softly when Remus turned so their lips met.

"I can't help but wonder what they would have made of you." Remus considered the possible reactions of his friends, and allowed himself to imagine Luna interacting with each of them. He was so absorbed in the scenarios that it took a moment for Remus to notice that she was no longer meeting his gaze.

Initially, they had agreed that it was better to keep their relationship secret. Remus often felt guilty about the difference between their ages, although it no longer bothered him as much as it once had – but there was an underlying problem. He knew that he wasn't capable of giving her up, but was unwilling of forcing Luna to live with the stigma of being with a werewolf. As time had progressed and their relationship had developed, Remus became aware of guilt with another source – Luna had been more than outspoken about her pride in him, but logically Remus knew that it wouldn't do to return the favour. Somehow, his head and his heart weren't in agreement when it came to Luna.

"Me too." Luna's hand dropped from his face, and she fidgeted with a loose thread on her well-loved woollen scarf. It was one of the few remaining belongings of her mother.

"Peter would have been in awe of you." He placed a hand underneath her chin and tilted it upwards. "He would have been especially clumsy around you, and I think that your kindness would have endeared you to him."

"Just like yours." There was a slight challenge in her tone. Remus resisted the urge to say that in their youth, Peter had done him a kindness far greater than help with homework and studying.

"Hmm. James... may initially have failed to appreciate your various merits, in his younger days. However, after he had calmed down, he would have valued you as a true friend." Remus paused as he recalled the changes wrought by a combination of maturity and Lily Potter. He was struck by how much he missed James. As though aware of his sorrow, Luna remained silent until he was ready to continue. "And Sirius? Well..."

Remus exhaled an amused breath at the thought, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes?" Luna regarded him with curiosity. He removed her scarf from her hands and clasped them between his own. There was a feeling akin to safety, being in the darkness with Luna. It was like being a child covered by a blanket, free to bring imagination to life without the constraints of day.

"I'd imagine that he would have pursued you relentlessly."

"Oh." Luna gave an uncharacteristically shy smile.

"Yes." Remus pulled her against him. Despite her slight build, there was a palpable sense of security in having Luna close by. "You're quite a catch."

"So is a Crumple-Horned Snorkack." The corners of his mouth twitched.

"Allow me to phrase that; any man would be lucky to have someone so understanding in his life."

"You're very kind to me, Remus." Luna had never once in his hearing resorted to sarcasm, and so Remus dispelled the notion that she had made a jibe about his lack of enthusiasm about being seen with her by their friends. It was this acceptance that cemented Remus' resolve that she deserved better. And for the first time Remus believed that he could give it to her.

"Let's go back to the Burrow now." He kissed her forehead, savouring the feeling of Luna's arms around him during the chaste embrace.

"Remus, are you sure you're ready to leave?" Her concern was touching, and although Remus had lost a lot, he knew that in her he had also gained something precious.

"Yes, I am."

"Do you want me to go back first?"

"No. We'll go together." Remus watched as a delighted smile spread across her delicate features, certain that he was making the right decision.

"Thank you."

"No; thank you for reminding me to keep hold of certain memories." He grasped Luna's hand and led her from the Shrieking Shack.

Although he was nervous of the reactions of others, Remus felt that his burden of guilt had been lessened. He couldn't fix the past. He couldn't stop Peter from having betrayed James and Lily, and he couldn't change the fact that he hadn't trusted Sirius when it had counted the most. However, he could make the best of the future – a future with Luna by his side.

**OoOoO**

**Thanks for reading. Please review. **


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